Lillian, Sweet Lillian
by The Starbucks Kid
Summary: Based on The Darkest Hour--Lillian Booth has found a kindred spirit in the tenderhearted Niles Thompson.
1. Chapter One Song of the Morning

Lilian, Sweet Lilian

  


Chapter One

  


I loved waking up in the morning. Maybe it was because I knew mornings were a chance to start over again, to start anew. Anything could happen. Maybe it was the way the early morning sun peeked at me through my white lace curtains, sending intricate designs dancing across my bed and walls. I wasn't sure, but there was something comforting about the morning.

I threw back my covers, shivering a little as the chilly morning air hit my bare arms and legs. The stiff nightgown Mamma had given me scratched lightly at my skin as I moved. The first thing that came to mind was Eugenia, my sister. I hopped from my bed and slipped into the hallway without making a sound. 

"Lillian, what are you doing?" Emily's steely voice made me jump. She placed her hands on her bony hips and stared down at me. "Look at you, you foolish girl, running around in your nightclothes. Haven't you even the tiniest bit of modesty?"

I frowned. "I only wanted to see Eugenia, Emily," I said quietly. 

"Don't you know that you are to dress before coming downstairs?" she snapped. "Go on." Emily turned sharply on her heels and started in the opposite direction. I waited a moment until I was sure she was gone, then continued on my way to Eugenia's room.

I eased the door open and peeked inside. Eugenia was sitting up in her gigantic poster bed, a large tray laden with oatmeal and a mug of hot, sweet tea. She twirled her spoon between her fingers. When she saw me standing in the doorway, her pallid face broke into a wide, bright smile.

"I thought that you'd forgotten about me," she said. "Come and sit, Lillian. It's lonely up here."

I was so glad to see Eugenia smile. When she smiled, her large blue eyes lit up, brightening her entire face. She eagerly patted an empty spot on her soft feather mattress. "Well, come closer, Lillian," she urged me in her soft little voice. "I've been waiting for you."

I crossed the room and climbed onto the bed beside my sister, careful not to upset her breakfast tray. Of course, I knew Eugenia wasn't really my sister. She was my cousin. That was common knowledge to everyone except for Eugenia. Mamma begged Emily and me to keep the truth from her. She believed that Eugenia wouldn't have been able to cope with the news that she and I weren't really sisters. I kept the secret for Eugenia's sake.

My own mother was dead, as was my father. The Booths were the only family I had ever known.

"Emily has been my only company today," she told me, lifting her coverlet. "It's chilly this morning. Get under the covers."

I smiled and obeyed. Eugenia busied herself for a moment, tucking the quilt in snugly around our bodies. "She only came in for a moment. Just long enough to bring me my breakfast."

"You haven't eaten anything, Eugenia," I said, noticing her food was untouched. "Mamma won't be happy."

Eugenia shrugged her thin little shoulders. "I know she won't, but I'm just not hungry this morning." Eugenia's face clouded over momentarily and she stifled a cough, then she was smiling again. "I bet you're glad to be getting back to school," she said. "I know how much you like it." Eugenia rested her head against my shoulder. Her unbrushed hair tumbled down her back in thick, honey-colored waves. For a moment, neither of us spoke. Eugenia was the one who broke our silence.

"I wish I could go," she said at length. "I wish I could be with you instead of here in this bedroom." Eugenia's voice had taken on a wistful air.

"I wish you could too, Eugenia. You and I would have a wonderful time."

There was a sharp knock at the door and Emily entered. Her eyes narrowed when she saw that I was in Eugenia's bed.

"What are you doing? Didn't I ask you to dress for school? Now you'll be late!" she screeched. I could feel Eugenia's hand find my own under the quilt. Her skin was cool against mine. Poor Eugenia, I knew Emily frightened her. Although I tried not to let on, Emily frightened me as well. 

"I will not be late on account of you," she muttered, her voice low. "Get up, get out of that bed," she ordered before stomping off. Slowly, I crawled out from underneath the covers. Once I was out of bed, I leaned over to kiss Eugenia on the cheek.

"You will come back, won't you, Lillian?" she asked me, her eyes large and imploring. 

"Of course I will," I promised her. "I'll come up here first thing and tell you everything that happened."

Eugenia seemed satisfied with my answer and settled back against her fluffy pillows. "I know you will," she said. "You would never forget about me, Lillian." She said this with nothing but affection in her voice. "But now the day will go by much slower, now that I'll be waiting for you."

"It won't be so bad if you don't think about it," I replied, smoothing her comforter. After making sure she was comfortable, I left her to rest.

My morning visits with Eugenia were always bittersweet. As much as I adored Eugenia, seeing her proved to be difficult for me. I knew that Eugenia was ill. She always had been. Mamma tried her best to be optimistic. "My, Eugenia is looking much better today, isn't she? Her color is much better today." I humored her, but made sure to remain realistic. Eugenia would never get better, she would only get worse.

I slipped back upstairs to dress for school before Emily had a chance to chastise me again. Once I was back in my bedroom, I shed my nightgown and paused for a moment in front of my mirror, my hands covering my budding breasts. Hesitantly, I removed them and took a good, long look. I stood with my shoulders back to make them appear more prominent than they truly were. It was then I decided I was being silly and vain. I could almost hear Emily's shrill voice. "Vanity is a sin, Lillian. Vanity is a sin."

I didn't take much care in choosing my dress for the day. Clothes didn't matter much to me, but Mamma made sure that I had lots of pretty things. Mamma loved pretty things. She had elaborate dressing gowns of deep purples and bright reds, all the colors of royalty. She slept in a poster bed so extravagant, I would sometimes stand in her doorway, awestruck. Her fine vanity table was lined with jars of sweet-smelling creams and bottles of fancy French perfumes. I could remember Mamma bringing me into her room, sitting me down at her vanity, and brushing my thick blonde hair until it shone. Then she would lean down until her chin was touching my shoulder and gaze at her own reflection in the mirror. I felt plain sitting beside her.

Once I was dressed, I descended the stairs to join my family for breakfast. Mamma, Papa, and Emily were already seated around the table. Emily glared while Mamma smiled. Papa only grunted and nodded curtly. "Mornin'," he muttered without even glancing at me. Mamma's smile widened as I neared the table. She was wearing on of her fancy dressing gowns, this one the color of rich red wine. Her soft blonde hair was brushed and cascaded gently down her shoulders.

"Lillian. Good morning, Darling. We've been waiting for you. You're a little late coming down this morning" 

"I'm sorry Mamma," I said. "I went to see Eugenia for a minute." Mamma's warm smile faded at the mention of Eugenia's name. "Yes...well, goodness knows poor Eugenia could use a little more company," she said quickly, her voice still soft and airy. "But, you must also remember, Lillian, to come down on time for breakfast. It isn't polite to leave your family sitting around the table. Will you try to remember that?." 

Mamma always chastised me so mildly. She never yelled or made a fuss or even raised her voice the least bit. Her gentle nature was what made me love her so much.

"Yes, Mamma," I promised her. "You really didn't have to wait for me. You could have eaten..."

Emily was quick to interrupt. "We were waiting for you so we could pray. What kind of family would we be if we ate without saying grace first?" she snapped, staring down her long, thin nose at me.

"Emily, please. Let's not fight," Mamma begged. Emily stopped talking, but still stared at me, her eyes icy.

"I'm sorry, Emily." My words were muted with regret. I hadn't meant to anger Emily or upset Mamma. I pulled my chair out and sat down, waiting for Emily to begin our prayer. Emily looked from Mamma to Papa, the finally to me before beginning. She recited the prayer with her hands folded tightly and her eyes squeezed shut. I kept my own eyes shut and my hands tightly clasped, hoping that somehow Emily's prayer would go by a little faster, but it didn't.

"Dear Lord, please bless this food. Bless this family..." Emily droned on and on. Thankfully, she ended her prayer after another minute or so. Although I was relieved to hear her say, "amen," I don't think I was nearly as thankful as Papa, who tore ravenously into his food like he hadn't eaten for days. He stuck a large fork ful of egg into his mouth and chewed very quickly before swallowing.

"You did a real good job sayin' grace, Emily," Papa said. Emily lifted her head and the corners of her mouth twitched as if she were attempting to smile, but couldn't quite do it. But she seemed to glow, thanks to Papa's compliment. Mamma only picked at her breakfast.

"It was very nice, Emily," she said at length, before resuming pushing her eggs around her plate. They oozed yellow yoke all over the beautiful blue and white china plate. Suddenly, she brightened.

"I was thinking we could have a barbeque," she said, her eyes wide, making her look like an excited schoolgirl. "Wouldn't that be nice, Jed? Emily? Lillian? We could have lots of food and wonderful music! Oh, it's been so long since we've last had one!"

Papa nodded. "All right, Georgia. If that's what you want." He didn't say another word about Mamma's proposed barbeque after that. He looked to Emily. "If you don't hurry up and eat, you'll be late for school," he told her. "You had better get a move on, the both of you."

Emily stood up, her back as straight as a ramrod. Her perfect posture and the way she held her head up high as she walked made her seem much for formidable. She tucked in her chair, then eyed me, willing me to eat faster. I took a few more bites of my egg, then stood as well. Emily paused to straighten her skirt and blouse. I smoothed non-existent wrinkles from my dress. Mamma gave each of us a tiny kiss on the cheek. She smoothed my hair.

"Behave, girls. Lillian, be on your best behavior. Do everything Emily tells you."

At that, Emily's sallow face brightened up just a little bit. The one thing Emily loved more than preaching to others was having power over others. She thrived on power the way others thrived on love.

"Come on," she said to me. "We're already late." 

Emily and I went to school in a one-room schoolhouse a few miles from our plantation home. Since she was already eighteen, Emily did more teaching that learning. Most of the children we attended school with were intimidated by Emily and kept their noses buried in their books whenever she came near.

"Will you come on? Stop your ambling" Emily cried. Her legs were much longer, and therefor her stride much larger than mine. "It's your fault we're going to be late in the first place." 

"Emily. You're walking much too fast for me," I panted, struggling to keep up with her. "I'm walking as fast as I possibly can without running." 

Emily continued to walk quite a ways ahead of me, her well-worn Bible clutched tightly to her chest. "It won't hurt you to walk a little faster," she urged me, and picked up her already rapid pace.

Finally, we arrived at our destination. When I complained that my shoes had gotten dirty, Emily promptly told me to "stop my whining." I was silent until I saw our teacher, waving at us. 

"Hello, Miss Walker," I called. I began walking a little faster to keep up with Emily. I also found myself unable for lessons to begin. To some, it may have seemed odd to see a twelve year-old so interested in learning, but I couldn't help myself. Schoolwork, especially mathematics, came very easily to me. I could rattle off the multiplication tables effortlessly and do long division in my head, School was my escape where I excelled in almost everything I tried. Emily, on the other hand, was a dunce when it came to figures. There were times I actually felt for her, but part of me liked to watch her squirm as the numbers loomed darkly over her the way she loomed over me.

"Lillian!" a voice called out to me. It didn't take me long to realize that it was Niles. I brightened. Emily's hand clamped down suddenly on my shoulder. She never ceased to amaze me with her strength. For a girl so thin, she was also remarkably rough. Her fingertips dug into my flesh.

"Niles," I gasped. I managed to shrug my way out of Emily's death grip. Niles smiled at me.

"What happened? The twins and I waited for you and Emily, but you never showed. The twins are already inside."

"We were running late this morning," Emily snapped, quickening her pace. "And if we don't hurry, we'll be ever later."

Niles gazed at Emily for a millisecond, then turned his attention back to me. "Well, at least you're here now." He paused for a moment, as if he were debating whether or not it was safe for him to speak again. "I thought about you this weekend," he said shyly. Although my heart was ready to burst, or go flying out of my chest, I could only muster a nod.

"I...thought about you too," I replied awkwardly. My tongue felt too thick in my mouth.

Niles smiled warmly. "Could I walk you to the school building?" he asked. I wanted to say yes so badly it hurt. The words burned somewhere deep in my throat. Niles reached for my hand, but I could feel Emily scowling down at me. I knew her thin lips were pressed so firmly together, they nearly disappeared and her eyes were dark and stormy.

"She's probably willing God to strike me dead right here," I thought to myself.

When Niles' hand touched mine, I jerked away. The expression on his face nearly broke my heart.

"Oh, Niles," I thought. "You just don't understand, do you?"

"Yes, walk with us, Niles," I said after a moment. He looked disappointed. I knew walking with Emily wasn't what he had in mind, but he fell into step with us nevertheless. I made sure to keep an arms length's distance between us as we walked, not wanting to displease Emily any more than I already had.

Niles spoke up after a few moments of silence. "I was thinking of coming to visit you, Lillian. Maybe the two of us could take a walk sometime."

I opened my mouth to speak, but Emily spoke first. "I highly doubt that Lillian will have time to go on walks when she has schoolwork to complete and duties around the house that need to be done. I'm sure you have your own chores as well, Niles," she said, her voice sharper and chillier than the early morning air. At that moment, I hated Emily. I had to resist the urge to knock her to the ground and pummel her. I wanted to soil her clothes, muss her slick hair and slap her across her sour, pinched little face. Never before had I felt such hate surge within me. Hot tears stung at my eyes and I felt a lump rise into my throat, but I swallowed it before Emily or Niles could see I was about to cry.

Niles remained silent as we entered the schoolhouse. It was a small place. The floors were made of old wooden planks. Miss Walker kept them swept clean. Desks were arranged in tidy rows of four. Blackboards lined one wall behind Miss Walker's desk. The room smelled of chalk dust. Miss Walker smiled and motioned for the three of us to take our seats. Emily and I sat in the first row, nearest Miss Walker's desk while Niles and the twins sat two rows away.

Miss Walker's class ran like clockwork and she ruled it with a firm yet fair and gentle hand. After greeting everyone, Miss Walker lead the class in the flag salute. Next, she turned to face the blackboard and began printing simple addition and subtraction problems for the younger students in her neat hand. 

"Emily, will you please walk around and make sure that everyone is copying down these problems and doing them correctly?"

Emily was quick to agree. "Yes, Miss Walker," she replied and rose from her seat. She lowered her voice to a mere whisper. "I'll be back," she said to me. "Do your work and don't waste any time or fool around. Remember, you aren't here to socialize, you're here to learn."

Emily marched to the other side of the classroom where Miss Walker sat the younger children. She bent over them, making sure each was on task. Miss Walker had begun to write down math problems for the older students. Suddenly, my gaze slipped from Emily over to Niles. He was hunched over his notebook scribbling away frantically, his tongue pushed between his teeth. 

"Look at you," Emily hissed so only I could hear her. "Always staring at that Thompson boy hen you should be doing your schoolwork." I tensed. I hasn't expected her to be back so soon. My hands automatically flew to cover my bare paper. Emily forced my hands away. Her eyes narrowed and her lips twisted into a spiteful little smile. "Blank," she said, her suspicions confirmed.

"I wasn't staring," I insisted softly. "I only glanced at him."

"All you ever do is gawk at that boy with stars in your eyes like some dumb, lovesick little puppy. It's absolutely disgusting." Her voice had been louder that time, and some of the students were staring intently at the two of us. 

"Emily, please. People are beginning to stare. Lecture me all you want at home, but I'm begging you, don't do it here."

Emily gripped my arm. "All right, but don't think for a moment that you'll be getting off easy. Don't think that I won't tell Papa as soon as we get home. He'll be so displeased with you." She said this almost cheerily.

Emily always seemed to be pleased when I'd done something she knew Papa would be unhappy about. I didn't care about that as much as I did the fact that Emily's ridicule had made tears well up in my eyes for the second time that day. A few spilled over and slipped down my cheeks. I tried to wipe them away before Emily noticed, but I was too late.

"Oh, stop your sniveling," she whispered. "It's your own fault, after all. You know better."

I jerked my head away and began to copy the math problems onto my paper, hoping that lunchtime would come and grant me some escape from Emily.


	2. Chapter Two Nothing to be Afraid of

Lillian Sweet Lillian

  


Chapter Two

  


Nothing to be Afraid Of

  


Thankfully, lunchtime finally came. I straightened up my desk a bit before taking my lunch outside to eat. Emily chose to eat her lunch in the classroom, probably because she was able to keep a close eye on me without being very obvious. At least she thought she wasn't being obvious. I knew better. Often, I would look back toward the schoolhouse and see her staring disapprovingly through the window.

I made it a point during reading time to find Niles at lunchtime and somehow explain my behavior. I only hoped that he would allow me to explain myself and somehow forgive me. The expression on Niles' face was still etched into my memory. I was disheartened when I exited the building and didn't find Niles sitting on the steps. I looked around for him, but he was nowhere to be found. I decided to ask the twins, hoping they would know where he'd disappeared to.

Niles' older sisters usually ate their lunches under an old oak tree. When they saw me approaching, both glanced up, curiosity in their eyes. I was a little hesitant to go up to them, even if we knew each other. I didn't know either of them very well. The twins were fifteen going on sixteen, and couldn't possibly be bothered to be seen with the likes of twelve year-old me. They chatted with Emily now and again, but for the most part, kept to themselves.

"Hello, Lillian," said one of the twins, her tone noncommittal. "If you're looking for Niles, he isn't here. He never eats with us."

"He usually eats with you over on the steps, doesn't he?" her sister asked. "He's been acting odd today, but if you want to see him, he went into the forest to eat. He said he wanted to be alone."

"I wanted to talk to him. I need to explain about this morning."

"Go and find him, then," said the first twin, nibbling daintily on her sandwich. "He went that way," she finished, pointing in the direction Niles had gone. I thanked the twins and made my way into the forest. 

The day was cool for mid-September. The sky was overcast, and a light breeze stirred the tree branches overhead. I pulled my sweater more tightly around me.

"Niles?" I called softly. "Niles, are you here?"

"Lillian?" His voice was barely audible. I peeked into a nearby clearing and found him there, sitting on a fallen log. 

"You are here," I breathed, feeling truly relieved. "Why are you sitting here all alone, Niles?" I ventured further into the clearing.

"I'm sorry for what I did earlier," he said. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"Oh, Niles!" I cried, more relief flooding over me. "It was only a little misunderstanding! You didn't upset me, but I was afraid that Emily would see us and tell Papa. She's always on the lookout for reasons to tattle on me. If she were to see you and I holding hands, she would tell Papa. There's no doubt about that. And he would be furious."

Niles shook his head. "I would never do anything to get you in trouble with your Papa, Lillian, you have to believe me when I say that."

I moved closer to Niles. "I do believe you," I said. "With all my heart."

A smile flickered across Niles' handsome face. He moved over, making plenty of room for me on the log. I joined him and for a while, it was silent. "I wish you weren't so afraid of Emily," he said, breaking our silence. "Don't you know that she can't do anything to hurt you? She can't do anything to you. She only likes to think she can."

"I'm not afraid of Emily," I insisted, twisting my hands in my dress. My lie burned as it passed through my lips.

"Emily isn't here. Forget about her, just for a little while. She doesn't exist." 

There was such mischief in his eyes, I couldn't help but smile. Slowly, he reached for my hand and this time, I didn't pull away. His hand closed over mine, the skin slightly roughened from working on his father's farm, but warm and comforting just the same.

"I love to be near you, Lillian," he murmured, reaching up to stroke my hair. His movements were awkward, but I didn't care. After a while, he became braver, this time reaching out to brush my cheek with his thumb and forefinger. His tough was so gentle, I wasn't sure if it was real or not. Niles cupped the side of my face with his open palm. "Do you remember our first kiss? The one at the Magic Pond?"

I wanted to cry out, "of course! How could I ever forget it?" But instead I nodded. 

"Yes," I replied. "I remember."

"I wish that I could kiss you again," he said wistfully. "Right here. Non one would ever have to know. It would be our secret."

I wanted to. All the feelings from the Magic Pond washed over me, and I had to feel them again. I could remember Niles' lips pressed up against mine and how his kiss left me breathless. It took all my will to refuse.

"We shouldn't," I said. "I wish we could, but we can't."

"There's nothing to be afraid of," Niles said. "Remember that."

With his hand still cupping my cheek, he tilted his head just a little. Then he touched his lips to mine. The world seemed to melt away. For a split second, it was just Niles and I. No one else existed, and even if they did, they wouldn't have mattered a bit.

Time passed easily with Niles for company. When I was with him, I found it impossible to feel anything but love and happiness. The bitter feelings I had been harboring toward Emily since early that morning disappeared, long forgotten.

"I know Papa would be angry with me if he ever knew about our kiss," I said. "He would say it was wrong, that a young girl shouldn't be doing those kind of things. But how can it be wrong, Niles, when it feels right?"

"We aren't doing anything wrong, Lillian," he said, removing his hand from the side of my face. "Your Papa, he's a good man as far as I can tell, but he doesn't understand."

Lunchtime ended far too soon for my liking. We stood and gathered our crumpled brown bags.

"You should go out alone," Niles said, taking my garbage from me. "We don't want Emily suspecting anything, even if her suspicions aren't true. You go on. I'll come out after you're back in the classroom. I can go out that way." Niles pointed out of the clearing past a grouping of coppices. "Emily will be none the wiser."

I nodded, ducked out of the clearing, and found myself back in the schoolyard. Miss Walker stood outside the schoolhouse, ushering children back inside. "Come on! Come on!" she urged them, smiling. In the years before I had started school, Emily told me horrible stories about Miss Walker and how strict and mean she was. She told me that she threw terrible fits and paddled her students if they didn't know the answer to a question. I realized that I was silly to ever believe anything that Emily told me.

"Lillian, come on!" she called. "There's no time to dilly dally around the school yard."

I picked up my pace and dashed across the yard, kicking up dust as I went. I spotted Niles out of the corner of my eye, walking with his sisters back up to the schoolhouse.

***

The moment I arrived home from school, I headed to Eugenia's bedroom, remembering my promise. I found her sitting up in her bed, looking eager.

"Lillian!" she cried, patting an empty space on her bed. "I've been waiting for you!"

"Eugenia, my day was wonderful!" I managed to gasp out before climbing onto her bed.

"Well, tell me!" she urged, grabbing my hand and holding it tightly. "What made your day so wonderful?"

"Niles," was all I said, and Eugenia gave me a knowing smile. "He makes me happy. I feel as if I can tell him anything,"

Eugenia leaned forward. "You're in love with him, then?" she asked me, clutching my hand so tightly, I was taken aback.

"No, I don't think so," I replied slowly, unsure of how to react or what to say. "I care for him. I really do. He's a wonderful friend."

"You don't love him?" Eugenia was confused.

"I do! I mean, I think I...I don't really know what it means to be "in love" with someone. I do know that I love him as a friend. I've never had someone I can confide in like this."

Eugenia scowled. "You confide in me, Lillian. You know you can tell me anything. What you tell me in confidence stays here, I promise." Eugenia placed one small hand over her heart.

"Of course. I know that, Eugenia. I just..." I trailed off and searched for the right words to convey what I was feeling. Just then, Papa threw open Eugenia's bedroom door with such force that it clattered against the wall. He didn't say a word, but his eyes blazed red with anger.

"Papa?" I whispered. Before I knew what happening, Papa gripped my upper arm so tightly my skin turned white. I cried out in pain. The intense pressure on my arm was nearly unbearable. Papa tightened his grip and dragged me from Eugenia's bed.

"Papa, no!" Eugenia cried, flinging her hands out toward me. "Stop it, Papa! You're hurting her!" Papa ignored Eugenia's shouts of protest and pulled me in the direction of the door. I was shaking so much by that time, I could hardly stand. He dragged me away from Eugenia's room so hard and so fast, I thought my arm would be ripped clean from my body. He continued to drag me along, although I faltered with nearly every step. I could hear Eugenia's muffled sobs through her bedroom door.

I thought Papa would take me into my bedroom, but instead we ended up in his office. He released my arm and shoved me away from him, sending me sprawling down toward the ground. I landed with a _thud_ and looked up at Papa with wide eyes.

"Papa, what..." I started to say, but he cut me off before I had a chance to finish.

"Emily told me what you did," he roared. "Emily told me everything. How could you go and do something like that? Haven't Georgia and I raised you better than that? Haven't we always done good by you?"

My first thought was of Emily's threat to tell Papa that I had been paying more attention to Niles than to my schoolwork. I knew that Papa would be displeased with me, but I never imagined me would be so furious. Tears welled in my eyes. My arm ached and so did my backside from the impact of hitting the ground.

"I'm sorry about my schoolwork, Papa," I said. "I didn't mean to make you angry." Tears ran down my face and my voice was frightened and imploring. "I promise, I'll do better."

"This ain't about no damn math problems, Lillian," Papa spat. He pulled me roughly to my feet, grasped my shoulders, and shook me fiercely. I swore that my teeth were rattling around in my head.

"I know you were kissing on that boy. Emily said she saw you kissing that...Thompson boy! If you're already kissing at you're age, it's safe to assume you're doing other things. Sinful things. Things that the Lord looks down upon."

I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. "No. No, no, no, Papa. She's lying. She only wanted to get me in trouble, Papa! I didn't do anything wrong..." I began to ramble, my words spilling from my mouth before I even knew what I was saying. Papa slapped me hard across my face, silencing me. His blow stung and brought more tears to my eyes. Obstinately, I attempted to swallow my imminent sobs.

"Don't you lie to me, girl. You start fibbing' on top of what you're already doing, and you'll only dig yourself in deeper with Him. Every lie that passes through your lips only makes it worse. You won't be continuing with this ungodly behavior, though. I promise you that."

Papa let me go again, allowing me to crumple to the ground. He turned sharply to leave. When he opened the door, I saw Emily, a sick smile contorting her features, as she gazed at me curled up on his beautiful old rug. I clutched at my throbbing cheek and allowed my tears to fall.


	3. Chapter Three A Solemn Promise

Lillian, Sweet Lillian

  


Chapter Three

  


A Solemn Promise

  
  
  


I awoke hours later, my eyes swollen and sore. My body ached horribly, especially my arm and backside. The corner of my mouth was tender, and when I lightly touched my fingertips to it, they came away crusted with my dried blood. Although it pained me greatly, I somehow managed to stand on my own two feet, faltering once or twice before regaining some balance. The house was dark, still, and silent. A small oil lamp left burning on Papa's great oak desk was my only light, and it flickered a little, sending shadows dancing on the walls past the portraits of Grandfather and Great Grandfather, darkening their already dour, sullen faces.

The sound of soft footsteps outside the office door caught my attention. At first, I thought Emily was awake, pacing the long halls as she often did, sometimes peeking into rooms as if she were searching for Satan or some other form of evil. Emily always moved so silently. These footsteps were soft, but not as quiet. It was then I realized Papa stood on the other side of the door. Part of me wanted to run and hide, to cower in some corner, but something kept me from moving. I stood rooted to the spot, my body trembling.

Slowly, the door opened, allowing dim light to flood into the office. Papa stepped inside, a candle in his hand. He didn't yell or raise his hand to strike me again like I thought he would. He reached out to tilt my face upward and stepped back to have a better look at the forming bruise. He seemed to admire it the way a painter or sculptor would admire their latest creation. The only sound he made was a slight "Mmm," noise in the back of his throat, then pulled away.

"Why do you make me do these things, Lillian?" he murmured over and over again. "Why do you make me do these things?"

Papa brought his face very close to mine as he spoke, his bourbon-soaked breath stirring my hair.

"It hurts me to do these things to you. Lord knows I would never raise a hand to you because I wanted to. You make me. You bring these things upon yourself. If only you weren't so sinful, Lillian. If only you would just do right by the Lord."

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing Papa to leave me alone. Unshed tears leaked out from the corners and slipped down my face. Papa brushed them away with none-too-gentle fingers. He wiped a tear from my bruised cheek, pressing a little harder than he had to, but rather that wince or cry out, I gritted my teeth.

"Now, it doesn't make any sense to cry, does it, Lillian? No, it doesn't. Because you brought this upon yourself. Mark my words, Lillian, this behavior stops here. I'll beat the sin right out of you if I have to, so help me."

I swallowed hard and lifted my head high in an attempt to make myself seem braver than I really was, but I couldn't shop shaking no matter what I did or how hard I tried. I still trembled like a sapling caught in a wind storm. I was certain that if Papa released me from his grip that I would have tumbled to the ground, for my legs had turned to jelly underneath my weight.

"Tomorrow, you'll not be permitted to go to school. You'll stay indoors. Don't let Georgia catch sight of you. And if anyone should ask what happened, you'll tell them that you were being reckless and fell."

Papa became silent for a moment. He pulled at the corners of his mustache, then nodded. "Yes, that's what you'll say," he said. He brought his hand to my cheek again, this time allowing his fingertips to stray over the cut on my mouth. I jerked away, hissing through my still clenched teeth at his unwanted contact.

"You should get to bed," he told me, his voice strangely soft. He handed me his candle and walked away. I stared after his retreating form until he was engulfed by the darkness.

I felt my way back up to my bedroom. On the way there, I paused, thinking that I should look in on Eugenia. Her frightened sobs still echoed in my mind. But, I didn't want to take the chance of waking her, and I especially didn't want her to see what Papa had done to me in his fit on anger. I suddenly was overcome with such weariness, my legs barely had the strength to carry me to my bed. Somehow, I managed to change into a nightgown. Then, I collapsed onto the bed and drifted into an uneasy sleep.

The sound of clattering dishes roused me the next morning. Emily stood in my bedroom, muttering something under her breath as she set a food-laden tray on my bedside table. The room was much too bright for my liking despite the fact that only one of my oil lamps was burning. I still ached everywhere and made no attempt to move.

With remarkable speed, Emily reached down and stripped the covers from my body.

"I hope you don't think that you'll be permitted to laze about this morning," she said her voice sharp as a pin. 

When I didn't move, she reached down and smacked my lower leg, making me wince. "Get up, Lillian!" she bellowed at me. "Get up, get up! Papa sent me up here with your breakfast. Wasting food when others are starving is a horrible thing to do."

Emily paused for a moment, a smile twisting her bloodless lips. "Of course, that is to be expected from someone like you," she finished, clearly satisfied with herself. "There won't be any moping or feeling sorry for yourself. You deserved every bit of what you got last night. If you were mine, I would have had you whipped until you were raw."

"I didn't do anything wrong, Emily," I insisted, forcing myself to sit upright. "I know you stretched the truth to Papa. Whatever you told him was a lie!"

Emily turned on me, her eyes colder than ice. "Don't you dare!" she shrilled. "Don't you dare try to pass me off as some kind of liar when all I'm trying to do is prevent shame from falling upon this family. Perhaps the next time you decide to go traipsing off into the forest to do things you know are sinful and wrong, you will think again."

I surveyed the breakfast Emily had brought me. Lumpy oatmeal, a single slice of burnt toast, and a small glass of milk were arranged neatly on the tray. Emily proceeded to leave, but paused before she did.

"After you eat, you will clean yourself up and put on a fresh nightgown. Mamma's been told you woke up feeling poorly and that she should stay away, so don't expect her to come and see you. After your clean, you are to tidy this room. No young lady should live in such filth," she scolded.

I looked around my bedroom in search of the mess Emily spoke of. All that I could see was my dress from the previous day, which lay rumpled at the foot of my bed.

"All the trouble you caused yesterday has Eugenia very upset. She's been moaning and groaning all morning, and she's refusing to eat a morsel until she sees you."

I was immediately filled with regret. How selfish I had been, thinking only of my own pain while Eugenia had been frightened and sobbing. I looked up at Emily and pulled my shoulders back.

"Will you let me go to her, then?" I asked, trying desperately to mask the quiver in my voice.

"Yes," Emily replied, pulling her bony shoulders up as well. "But not until you've done what I've told you. When you do go, be quick about it. And, don't let Mamma see you, either. There's no sense in getting her all worked up over nothing."

With that, Emily exited my room, slamming the door shut behind her. I took a few bites of the oatmeal, but it felt cold and stuck to the roof of my mouth. I pushed my breakfast away, then hurriedly washed my face, tugged a brush through my hair, and pulled on a new nightgown. Carefully, I slipped from my bedroom and descended the stairs, making less noise than a mouse would. Mamma's old Victrola could be heard playing softly from her sitting room. I scurried past. Thankfully, she didn't see me. She was too wrapped up in her music to notice much of anything. Silently, I slipped into Eugenia's bedroom.

"Oh!" she cried when she set eyes on me. Her little hands flitted around. "Oh, Lillian!" 

She reached for me, the delicate bones of her arms all too visible under thin skin. I flew into Eugenia's arms, careful not to jar her in any way. She wrapped her arms around me very tightly–as tightly as she could, at least. I barely felt her.

"Oh, Lillian! I was so worried about you! I wasn't sure what had become of you, but Papa looked so angry!"

Eugenia continued to ramble until she noticed the bruise on the side of my face and the swollen cut at the corner of my mouth. Her mouth formed a small "o" and her eyes widened.

"Lillian, Papa did this to you." 

Her tone was very soft. I grasped her hands very tightly.

"Yes, Eugenia, but you mustn't worry yourself about it. I can't have you getting upset on account of me."

"What did Mamma say?" she asked, her voice still hushed.

"Mamma doesn't know and you can't say a word to her. She isn't supposed to know. She can't."

"What will Niles say?" she cried suddenly. "He will be angry won't he, Lillian?"

I hadn't thought of Niles. I could imagine that he would be angry with whoever had struck me. No doubt, his eyes would darken and narrow until they were nothing but dusky black slits. His face would harden and contort as I repeated the whole horrible story to him.

"Niles won't know. I-I won't tell him. Papa didn't mean to strike me. He really didn't. He even apologized. I remember that he said, "Lillian, I wish I hadn't done those things to you." Papa's sorry for what he did, Eugenia."

Eugenia crossed her arms over her little chest and nodded sagely. "Papa would never strike any of us if he were in his right mind," she said, sounding very sure of herself.

"Yes," I said. "He was drunk when he did this and now he's sorry," I assured her, loosening my grip on her hand. "I should go back now. Emily asked me to be quick about this. If I can, I'll come back and see you. After dinner, maybe. Sooner if I can manage it."

I patted Eugenia's hand, then rose to leave. My sister's sad eyes followed me as I left her bedroom.

My lunch was brought to me in the same fashion as my breakfast. Emily brought that tray up, too. When she saw that my breakfast was for the most part, untouched, she glowered, but said nothing. My lunch was very bland and made up of chicken broth, weak tea, and some cool water. I took a little broth and sipped at the water, but I didn't have much appetite. 

I stayed in bed for the next few hours, reading quietly, or looking at a few of my old picture books. They still held the same beauty for me as they had many years ago. A light tapping at my window caught my attention. I glanced up and saw Niles, perched precariously outside. He peeked past my curtains, and when he saw me, he brightened. Again, he tapped at the window and beckoned for me to come and open it.

It was too late to run. He'd already seen me. So, I shook my hair in front of my face, hoping that it covered the unsightly discoloration, and moved to open the window. Once the window was cracked enough so he could fit through the opening, I took hold of his hand and pulled him inside.

Niles Thompson, what on earth are you doing outside my bedroom window?" I asked him. Quickly, I looked him over from head to toe, making sure he was all right.

"I climbed," he stated proudly, his eyes glowing. "I told you the first day we met that I am an expert climber." Then, lowering his voice, he continued. "I thought this would be the only way I would be able to see you. I was worried when you weren't in school today?"

A gasp escaped from Niles' lips and his eyes narrowed. He reached out to gingerly touch my bruised cheek.

"Who did this to you?" he demanded, his voice gentle yet rough. I didn't answer right away. Something in Niles' eyes was frightening and the words flew from my mouth, leaving me slack-jawed and gaping, unsure of what to say. I looked to the door, afraid that Papa or Emily would burst in at any moment.

"Lillian." Niles' voice became very soft. "Please, tell me who did this. Tell me," he urged.

"I fell," I told him. "This morning. I was being reckless and fell..."

"Please don't lie to me."

How could I tell him what had really happened? Tears filled my eyes, threatening to fall down my cheeks. A pent up sob burst forth, taking Niles by surprise. He reeled, jerking back at my sudden outburst of emotion.

"Oh, Niles!" I cried. "I'm afraid!"

"Afraid? Afraid of what?" Niles asked, his dark eyebrows knitted close together.

"I'm afraid to tell you what really happened. I'm afraid that you'll be angry."

"Lillian..." 

Niles was genuinely confused. "Why are you saying these things? Please, just tell me." 

"It was Papa," I whispered hoarsely. "Papa did this."

Niles blanched. "Your papa?"

I nodded, biting my lower lip furiously. Unable to hold back any longer, I burst into tears. My tears dripped down my cheeks and onto my chin and lips. A split second later, I was in Niles' arms.

"Poor Lillian. My poor Lillian," he murmured, touching his lips to my injured cheek lightly, I hardly felt it. With his arms around me, I felt completely at ease. His embrace was warm, gentle, and comforting, and knowing that he thought of me as _his_ made my heart feel lofty although the tears still coursed down my flushed cheeks.

"Emily told Papa you and I were doing sinful things yesterday afternoon. And Emily's word is as good as gospel around here, at least with Papa it is." I told him between hiccups. 

"Emily may pretend to be good and holy, but she's rotten as they come on the inside," Niles hissed. "We did nothing sinful."

"All Emily has to do is point her bony little finger at someone and they're dammed for life, it seems, I chimed in. 

"Well," said Niles sharply, "Your Papa was still wrong to strike you. All that talk about being a true southern gentlemen! I have a mind to find him and teach him what it really means to be a gentlemen," he fumed.

Although Niles was tall, broad, and sturdy for his age, Papa towered over him, and if provoked, he would probably thrash him without a second thought.

"Niles, no," I admonished him gently. "Please, you shouldn't say those kind of things."

Niles was silent, but the anger didn't leave his eyes until I kissed him full on the mouth. The ire was gone, and in its place was surprise.

"Lillian!" he laughed, a small smile beginning to form on his full lips.

I had even shocked myself. Never would I have dared to be so forward, but I wasn't ashamed of what I had done. I was glad.

"You shouldn't stay here, Niles. If Papa or Emily should see us..."

Niles' lips pressed firmly against my own silenced me.

"I know," he said. "I'm late getting home, anyway."

I walked Niles back to the window. We parted with another chaste kiss, like something out of _Romeo and Juliet_, or one of Mamma's romance novels. Before he started to climb down, he looked into my eyes, his face so serious, he looked as if he'd aged fifty years in a matter of seconds.

"Someday, I'll get you out of here. The two of us will be together, I promise you that."

I held my breath as he climbed down, exhaling only after he was safely back on the ground. He waved to me, then hurried toward home.


	4. Chapter Four An Evening Excursion

  


Lillian, Sweet Lillian

  


Chapter Four

  


An Evening Excursion

  
  


I was permitted to go back to school a few days after my "accident." That's how Papa and Emily referred to it. Papa told Mamma he wanted to make sure I was well enough before I returned to school, but all he truly cared about was keeping the Booth name as pristine as possible. We didn't talk about what had gone on that night. Papa never attempted to apologize for his actions and I never asked him to. Life returned to normal at The Meadows.

Mamma began to throw herself into planning for a grand barbeque that was to be held a week from Friday. Emily, who usually detested Mamma's extravagant gatherings, said nothing. It was a chance for Mamma to flit around like the social butterfly she was and for Papa and Emily to keep up appearances. They knew that if our neighbors felt that something was amiss in our home, their eyes would be upon us. 

As the time for the barbecue drew nearer, Mamma grew increasingly excited. At dinner two days before the barbeque, Mamma was chatting up a storm about the festivities.

"We'll invite everyone. The more the merrier!" she sang, her voice like wind chimes, clear and sweet. "And there will be lots of food. Wonderful food!"

I smiled at Mamma's excitement. Papa grunted and Emily scowled. I knew how Emily felt about having guests in the house. Whenever we did have guests, Emily was constantly following them around or rushing them out. Emily was wary of everyone, except, of course, the minister

It was then that Mamma announced that the Thompsons were to be invited as well.

"Won't that be nice for you, Lillian?" Mamma smiled and took a long, quiet sip of her iced tea. "You and Niles will have some time to talk. I know how much the two of you love to spend time together."

Emily smirked. Her mind was working overtime, the wheels spinning quickly. That I could see, plain as day. I just knew she was thinking of something to tell Papa. She would accuse us of doing bad things, things we were innocent of.

After a few moments of awkward silence, I cleared my throat and nodded. "Yes, Mamma," I said. "That would be very nice."

That smirk never left Emily's sullen face.

Talk of Mamma's grand barbecue spread like wildfire throughout town. I couldn't help growing a little excited at the thought of it. The next day at school, I pulled Niles aside and asked him if he would be able to attend, but I made sure to stay right in the schoolyard. I would not make the same mistake twice. 

"It sounds like fun," Niles said. "But I'm not sure I can be near your Papa without wanting to thrash him on the spot. As if he were imagining Papa standing before him, Niles clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles turned white. His body was rigid with quiet anger.

"Niles, please. What's done is done."

I hated that I was being so passive. After all, weren't the Booths supposed to be a proud family? The Booths always held their heads up high. The Booths were always proud and walked tall.

Then I remembered. I wasn't really a Booth.

Niles shook his head. "I can't forgive as easily as you can, Lillian. I'm sorry." He laughed but it sounded forced.

I was desperate to change the subject, so I smiled brightly. "Mamma says there will be lots of good food and music. Maybe you and I could dance," I propositioned him shyly. "I'd be the envy of every girl there."

Niles turned pink with embarrassment, but there was something in his face that told me he was pleased as well.

"No, Lillian. With you on my arm, I'd be the envy of every boy there."

Niles' comment made me blush furiously. I turned an even darker shade of pink. He laughed. When he did, he laughed from the heart.

Guests began arriving even before the sun set. Some brought food to share and others brought things like whiskey. Papa always greeted those guests very warmly, then escorted them and their liquor to a seat.

Mamma looked beautiful. Her gown was the color of the sky just before sunset, a warm, soft peach. Her hair was twisted away from her face with two pearl combs, and she wore two simple diamond studs in her ears. Her eyes were wide and luminous, as if she were seeing everything for the first time. Her many friends surrounded her, all in their finest, but none of them looked as lovely as Mamma did.

"When is Niles coming?" Eugenia's voice brought me back to reality. She crossed her arms across her chest. "He is coming, isn't he?"

"Of course he is," I insisted, patting Eugenia's hand reassuringly. The way she had taken to Niles was amusing to me. Every time she saw him, she sat up a little straighter and a little blush would creep into otherwise pale cheeks because she lived her life through me.

It was then that I saw him. Niles, looking the handsomest I had ever seen him. My heart began to thump joyfully in my chest as he came closer to me. He broke away from his family and rushed over.

"I told you I'd be here," he said, smiling first at me, then at Eugenia. Then he straightened and held out his hand.

"Miss Lillian," he said, his voice deeper than usual. I only gazed at him until I realized what Niles was doing. With a little laugh, I extended my hand. He caught it and brought it to his lips.

"I wanted to show you what it means to be a real southern gentlemen," he whispered to me.

Niles turned to Eugenia. Her smile was so wide, she looked as if she were ready to burst into peals of giggles on the spot.

"Miss Eugenia," Niles said, continuing with his game. Eugenia didn't hesitate to give Niles her hand. When he kissed it, she blushed a little and sat up as straight as she could.

"You look beautiful, Lillian," Niles whispered to me. Eugenia grinned broadly as she watched the two of us.

"I–I've never seen you look more handsome, Niles," I replied awkwardly.

Niles looked over at Eugenia, who seemed to be waiting for more. He pulled me away.

"Lillian, I have an idea. Why don't we go to the Magic Pond? You and I...and Eugenia, of course." 

Quickly, I glanced over to where Papa stood with his friends, a glass of whiskey already in his hand. Would he notice us? Would he even care once the liquor took hold?

"Niles, I don't know," I replied, clutching his hand tightly. "I'm not sure we'd be able to get away."

"No one will even notice we're gone, Lillian. We won't be missed. Your mamma's so preoccupied and your papa, well, he'll be drunk before the sun's gone down."

I wanted to say yes. Oh, how I wanted to say yes! The words were there, but they wouldn't come out. Finally, I managed to say something.

"Eugenia. We'll have to bundle her up as best we can. Even though it's nice right now, it could get chilly later."

Niles' face lit up and he quickly shed his jacket. I mimicked and slipped out of my button down sweater. Eugenia gave us strange looks as we began to bundle her in our clothing, but her smile never faded.

"What are you doing? Where are we going, Lillian?"

I concentrated on helping Eugenia into my sweater, then fastening the pearly buttons. When I was finished, I noticed how large the sweater was on her. The sleeves fell past her fingertips and it sagged, but I knew she would be warm. Niles' jacket was draped over her thin shoulders and I fastened the first few buttons. When I was satisfied, I stepped away from her.

"Where are we going?" Eugenia asked me again, her eyes bright and inquisitive.

"The Magic Pond," I replied, my voice hushed. "But we have to be careful."

"Oh!" she cried, excitement evident in her voice. "The Magic Pond?"

Niles smiled and nodded. Eugenia had only been there once before. Niles had carried Eugenia to the water so she could make a wish. It was because of Eugenia's wish that Niles and I shared our first kiss. The events of that day were still vivid in my mind.

Niles helped me push Eugenia around the side of our house and all the way to the front. Pushing her wheelchair down the driveway always made me nervous, so I kept my hands wrapped around the handles. 

Slipping off, especially to be with Niles after what happened with Papa and Emily frightened me, and yet, I wasn't shaken enough to turn around and run back home. We had come too far, and poor Eugenia would be heartbroken. I had to admit to myself that I was not acting with only Eugenia in mind. The thought of going to the Magic Pond with Niles, even with Eugenia tagging along was exciting. I knew that whatever happened there would stay with Eugenia. It would be our secret.

I couldn't help fussing over Eugenia, once in a while, pausing to make sure that my sweater was still securely fastened and that she was warm.

"Lillian, please," she sighed, brushing my hands away. "The sun is still out, and there's a warm breeze. I'll be fine."

The walk back to the Thompson's property was a long one, but oddly, Eugenia didn't tire like she usually did. She sat up very straight and in my loose-fitting sweater with Niles' jacket now draped haphazardly about her shoulders, she looked like some kind of rag tag queen. Niles helped pass the time by mimicking Emily's walk. He stood very tall and took long strides with his shoulders squared and his nose stuck up in the air. Eugenia howled with laughter until she began to cough and I had to tell her to settle down or we would have to turn back.

The Magic Pond was tucked in a secluded corner of the Thompson's property. The pond was small, cool and clear. So clear, we could see all the little fish skirting around under the placid surface. The warm evening breeze blew gently, warming our faces and moving our hair about, like a soft caress from Mother Nature herself.

Niles helped me find a nice spot to park Eugenia. Her eyes were so bright and her smile was wide. Being outdoors always cheered her up, but the Magic Pond was really something spectacular to her. She sat with her little hands folded neatly in her lap.

"The pond sure does look nice tonight, seeing as it's so stuffy" she said, her cornflower blue eyes full of mischief. "Niles, have you ever been swimming in the pond?"

Niles rubbed at the back of his neck, thinking. "Well, once or twice," he said at length. "But I used to come here alone, and swimming's no fun with no one to swim with."

"I'm sure Lillian would swim with you," Eugenia sang. "You would, wouldn't you, Lillian?"

Before I even had a chance to answer, Niles was prodding me as well.

"A swim sounds nice, Lillian," he said. "How about it?"

I didn't answer him right away, but I was inclined to tell him no. I didn't have anything suitable for swimming, Mamma would be furious with me if I wrecked my dress, and swimming in my underclothes wasn't an option. I shook my head.

"No, Niles. I can't, but you go ahead. I'll just watch with Eugenia."

Niles stooped to unlace his shoes. "Are you sure? It is a little warm. A swim would do you good."

I shook my head again, my resistance slowly slipping away. Niles often told me about all the wishes he had made by dipping his hands into the water. By swimming in it, would all our wishes and dreams come true? 

"Well," said Niles after a long while, "if you won't come swimming with me, I guess I'll just have to go alone."

Niles headed toward the pond, his feet bare and his pants rolled up as far as they would go. He dipped one foot into the water and then waded in, taking care not to disturb the fish. I watched as he swirled his hands around, creating ripples and allowing the fish to zig zag through his fingers. I threw caution to the wind then, and removed my shiny black shoes and my socks. The grass felt cool and soft beneath my feet.

"Oh, so you've changed your mind," Niles teased me, smiling. "I thought that you would."

"I did," I replied. "Only because you looked so lonely."

I waded out slowly until the water reached my hips. The fish swam every which way, darting around. Their little fins tickled my legs and feet.

Niles and I waded for a while, occasionally splashing one another gently. Eugenia's laughter was our reward. Soon the sun was beginning to dip and we knew our time at the Magic Pond was growing short. We wanted to savor the last few minutes, so Niles and I staggered out of the pond, dripping wet and breathless. I collapsed on the bank beside Eugenia.

Among the many, many trees that surrounded the pond, there was one in particular which stood out. It was by far the largest. Its roots formed a gnarled little seat at the base and there were lots of thick branches which stuck out at different places. Niles gazed at it so intently, I knew this tree had some special meaning to him.

"I used to climb this tree when I was younger," he said, running his hands up and down the rough bark. "If you can get up high enough, you can see for miles and miles."

Like a flash, he began to scale the tree with a cat-like grace and agility that astounded me. It seemed only a matter of seconds had passed before he was a good twenty feet off the ground. Eugenia gawked, openmouthed at the feat, shaking her head.

"Niles, what are you doing?" I called up to him. "Come down!"

Niles paused to look back at me, his eyes shining. "I won't," he replied. "I want to see if everything still looks the same. I want to see what the view is like now."

He continued to work his way up until he reached a nice, thick branch and edged his way onto it. He crawled forward, concentrating so hard, the tip of his tongue stuck out just a little.

"Niles, please!" I cried. "You're too far up! You'll fall. Please, just come down."

Niles looked down at me, obviously taken aback by my cries of protest. Watching him climb higher and higher made my stomach feel unsettled. 

"Niles," I said, sharper this time. "Come down! Please!"

Niles nodded. "All right, Lillian. I'm coming down," he said with mock annoyance, but he smiled as he began to back off of the branch. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. No sooner had I relaxed, that a sharp _crack_ shattered the silence. I took in my breath sharply and my head snapped up just in time for Niles to lock his eyes on mine. Then he was falling. Hard. Fast. Branches tore at skin, then snapped. Eugenia cried out, her hands flying to her throat. Niles hit the ground with a dull, sickening thud, his head striking a rock. Silence fell over the Magic Pond, suffocating us. It was so quiet, I couldn't even hear the wind in the trees. It was as if the world had stopped completely.

I screamed so loud and so long my throat ached. I attempted to break into a run, but my feet were rooted to the spot. I was frozen.

"Lillian!" Eugenia shrieked, her blue eyes wide with fear and confusion. "Oh, God, why aren't you doing something? Why won't you move?"

Finally, my legs began to work again, but I dropped to my knees almost instantly, too shaky to take but a step. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't. I had told Niles time and again he was taking unnecessary chances by always climbing trees. My heart was thudding so hard in my chest, I thought it would shatter my rib cage.

It took all my strength, but somehow I managed to crawl over to where Niles was. A small whimper escaped my lips. Scratches cris crossed his arms and legs. Blood leaked from his nose and mouth as well as a large gash on his forehead. After a moment or two, I noticed the blood beginning to pool beneath his head. There was something strange about his breathing, too. It seemed labored and he was making strange gurgling noises. I gazed at Eugenia, my wide eyes mirroring her own. Her face had lost any bit of lingering color.

"No!" I screamed "Niles, please! Please, wake up! Oh, God!"

My screams soon turned into wails. Eugenia didn't say a word. She sat in her chair, her face as hard and white as marble. Over my sobs, I could hear heavy footsteps.

"Lillian!" The voice was sharp and gruff. It didn't take me long to realize it was Papa. He stared down at me, his face red with anger. His eyes were so narrow and dark they were like black slits. Behind him was Niles' father. Mr. Thompson rushed to Niles while Papa loomed over me, looking so menacing, I thought I would faint from fear.

"It's bad," said Mr. Thompson. I could hear the quiver in his voice and part of me wanted to throw myself at his feet and beg for his forgiveness. 

"He's alive, though, thank the Lord," he continued. "How many times have I told that boy not to be climbing those damn trees?" Poor Mr. Thompson's voice broke, but he managed to keep his composure. "There's a gash on the back of his head. Maybe some broken ribs. He needs a doctor, that's for sure."

I covered my face with my hands and sobbed. 

"Quit your blubbering!" Papa hissed at me. "Dry those tears! Stop that crying this instant, Lillian. Your tears will do nothing for the boy now."

I watched as Papa helped Mr. Thompson lift Niles. It was as if the fall had knocked the life completely from Niles' body. Although Mr. Thompson said he was alive, I almost didn't believe it. He was too limp, too pale. It didn't seem possible to me.

Papa gestured for me to follow him. "Come on," he said, his voice like shards of glass, rough and jagged. "Get Eugenia. We're going back."

The men moved slowly, careful not to jar Niles while I plodded behind, holding onto Eugenia's wheelchair for dear life. Not too far away from the Magic Pond, I saw the Thompson's carriage. His mother looked nearly as white as the summer dress she wore. When she caught sight of Papa and Mr. Thompson carrying her son, she screamed. Her hands flitted around and she rushed over. She touched Niles' face. His sisters stayed very close together and watched with frightened eyes. Papa helped to lay Niles across the seat. 

"We have to get him to a doctor quick," said Mr. Thompson. "Go home and wait for me. There's nothing more you can do for him."

Mrs. Thompson nodded through her tears, but refused to take a single step until the carriage was completely out of sight. Papa volunteered to walk the remaining Thompsons home. Then leaning close to me he said, "you take Eugenia and you get yourself home." His voice was so terrifying, it sent a chill up my spine and back down again. "Go on."

I felt numb walking back to The Meadows. I couldn't stop seeing Niles, his eyes wide as he slowly realized what was happening. The loud crack echoed through my mind just as loud and clear as it was the first time. I was cold all over.

"Lillian?" Eugenia whimpered. "What's going to happen to Niles?"

I didn't answer her. I couldn't answer her because I didn't know how. The uncertainty deep in my heart made me feel sick. Tears burned at my eyes and I walked on, each step heavier than the last.

  



End file.
